This morning I was walking to school and two cars in a row refused to stop for me in the crosswalk. As the second one came close to hitting me I thought some unchristian things before continuing my walk while considering what this meant for the prognosis of my day. I slowly made my way to the class for which I am a TA. Class started, I gave some critiques, named some typefaces—the usual stuff, but then about midway through the period, the largest wave of sickness and pain I've ever felt rolled through my abdomen bringing fuzzy edges and dry heaving as I started wishing to die.
I didn't die though. Instead I spent five minutes of agony begging the receptionist for some pain medication followed by a brief lie down on the floor in the bathroom (yes, I did that) in an attempt to avoid passing out. After a few more minutes of terrible pain I formulated a plan. "I have to go home." I thought, "I can't curl into a ball and cry in front of my class." So I called my mom to come pick me up, and then with as much composure as I could muster, told my professor that I had to go home.
He just gave me a confused, "okay..." after which I left. I exited the lab and walked down the stairs of the Snell about to leave the building when who did I run into?
Oh, just that one boy who I sort of broke-up with last week. (actually, he might have broken up with me, I'm not entirely sure, the details are still a little hazy) That one boy who I sent a border-line mean text to last night. That one boy who I hadn't spoken to since then.
That one boy exited the classroom right next to the stairs at the exact second my foot reached the ground level. There would be no pretending we hadn't seen each other. It was required to speak.
"Hey." said Lexi.
"Hey." said the boy.
Please can we lie down and die now?! said Lexi's body.
Nothing, said the hallway.
"So, I'm sort of sorry about that mean text yesterday." apologized a delirious Lexi. (what she meant was sorry about that sort of mean text yesterday.)
"I understand." said the boy.
Nothing, said the hallway. Nothing for at least fifteen seconds.
Why are you stopping to have a conversation?! Lexi's body cried.
"I'm going to get some food if you want to come with." said the boy in an attempt to be nice and let them still be friends.
"I'm actually feeling kind of sick, so I'm just going home." explained Lexi.
Mildly put, said the body.
"Oh. Okay." responded the boy.
Leave now! said the body.
Enter: Girl who knows the boy and has a voice that at this moment was irritating beyond all reason.
"Hey there." Voice said to the boy
"Hi." he said.
LET'S GO! said the body.
"Did you get a haircut?" Voice asked.
"Yes" said the boy
WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING HERE? said the body.
Awkwardness, said the hallway.
"Bye." said Voice as she left.
"Your hair does look nice. Okay, bye" Lexi said as she walked through the same door the boy was also going to leave through. He, however, paused so he wouldn't have to walk next to her.
Too bad she sat down on the curb by the parking lot that he had to walk past to leave the Snell. She sat because she could no longer stand and then called her mom again to see where she was. The boy walked past Lexi sitting in a skirt on an icy curb bent in half crying to her mother over the phone and asked, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, sorry, I'm fine." Lexi said as she died a little.
Ahhhh. Go away! said Lexi's body.
I'm getting your skirt really wet, said the curb.
The boy made an exit in an incredibly awkward fashion while thinking Lexi was a crazy loon.
Long story short, the next two hours were spent in terrible pain, after which every symptom vanished leaving Lexi happy as a clam once again.
Well, maybe bottom half of the clam's happiness scale.
